Back on track

It's been essentially 4 days since my weekend meltdown and things seem to be on the up. You know how you sometimes seem to need to hit rock bottom before things start to get better? Yep, that's me with weightloss too. I haven't tracked every day but I have been mindfully eating and not going overboard on anything. I achieved a 4 pound loss this week but let's face it - a couple of those were the same pound I'd lost last month lol. Am going to start doing a weekly pro and con at the end of each post - here's the first one:

Pro: Walks are now the 'long' route by default - no longer have to negotiate with D on which route we take (the 'normal' route feels too short!).
Con: Baileys Irish Cream has way more calories than I realised. Had been totally underestimating how much I was pouring! Oops! Must plan better for this one :).

Inspiration from ex's and a bit of Google stalking

Right. Mark my words. 5:15pm Saturday afternoon and this is the beginning of a new era. I've lost my mojo. I'm in a funk. I'm rationalising eating all the left over scorched almonds and contemplating take out. Need to stop. May as well make it now. 5:16pm.

The ex husband of D's ex wife has lost 100 pounds in the last 6 months after a tummy stapling op. He's still an arsehole but he's a confident, healthier arsehole. D's ex wife is hitting the gym 5 days a week and looking the best she ever has. Bitch, he's mine now - hands off. Yes, this is all thanks to stalking them online and them having stupid open Facebook profiles. A close friend has lost 33kg in the last year and looking stinking hot. Meant to be seeing her tonight but am faking a sickie. The scorched almonds are gone but there is no take out. The control taking starts now. No more shit. I am in control. I can't let the ex wife beat me. Where do you get your inspiration from?

Taking inspiration from the Biggest Loser

We had the finale of season 10 last night here in New Zealand. As well as the usual crying (from me on the couch) there was a renewed sense of 'I need to get off this couch and get moving again'. Luckily D agreed with me so our weigh in days have moved to Thursday (today) and we're starting fresh.

I reflected briefly this morning on how far I've come. 14.6kg, 32 pounds. 14.9%. And I've managed to not pile it all back on when I wasn't watching. We've already started planning our next big holiday in June 2012 - I'm aiming to be under 78kg by then. Imagine the clothes I'll be able to buy!

Walking is working

Scales showed a 900gram loss this week (to make up for last weeks gain). I ate a little off plan here and there but tracked everything and exercised extra to compensate. Seems to be working!

Back in July I set myself the goal of hitting 400mins of exercise but mid August. I can't say it's been consistent but I've done it 2 weeks out of the last 6 - a reasonable ratio.

Week 1: 1,247 calories in 215 minutes
Week 2: 3,746 calories in 675 minutes
Week 3: 1,575 calories in 235 minutes (um...yea...not so great!)
Week 4: 1,433 calories in 240 minutes (not much better!)
Week 5: 1,607 calories in 248 minutes
Week 6: 2,620 calories in 475 minutes

Time for a new goal?

EEK! Up a smidge and it's my own fault...

My weigh in this morning confirmed that I've been slack at both tracking and exercising this week. Even though I loved the homemade custard squares, potato chips and roast pork - they did not love me back. A 300gram gain (.6 of a pound) is a small price to pay for my laziness. D is away for nearly a week from tomorrow, the weather is freezing and I don't have a kitchen at the moment. I can see a challenge ahead and f*#k me I need to meet it.

Ed note: Check out my net calories for the week after D made me track EVERYTHING (love you!) - should be around 1,000 for each day. Yea. Can see why there was no loss this week!

The week where I wore a purple shirt

Made up for last weeks status quo with with a loss of 1.5kg! (3.3pounds). The most I've lost in a week ever. Fitness wise, not so great. Lots of late nights at work and lunchtime meetings meant no laps around the campus during the day.

Week 1: 1,247 calories in 215 minutes
Week 2: 3,746 calories in 675 minutes
Week 3: 1,575 calories in 235 minutes (um...yea...not so great!)
Week 4: 1,433 calories in 240 minutes (not much better!)
Week 5: 1,607 calories in 248 minutes

Had 2 NSVs in the past week. Firstly I was able to fit a T I bought 2 years ago while on holiday that I swore 'I would never fit' but it was my favourite colour and from a concert where my favourite band played. So awesome to put it on and still have circulation in my arms! Secondly, D and I went for brunch on Sunday and I skipped the eggs benedict and ordered poached eggs on 5 grain toast, no butter with peppermint tea. Didn't even get a coffee! And I left half a slice of toast behind. I think I'm going mad...but in a totally awesome way. Hope you all have a great week!

Big Fat Zero

That is, a big zero loss this week. Which I'm not happy about but I need to also celebrate a small NSV that happened over the weekend. D has had all my credit / cash cards for some time now as I tend to go crazy when I hit the supermarket on my own. Well he was away for 4 days and I needed to buy some things for the house so he left me a card. And I went to a supermarket and didn't go crazy! Yes I thought about it, but I went a bit further to a 'nice one' and only got what I needed. No huge packets of chips or peanut slabs! That's a V for Victory in my books :).

The Inside Scoop On Fiber

All my blogging buddies need to watch this - it's an excellent breakdown of what fibre / fiber is, the difference between types and what to watch out for on labels. Simply awesome. Thanks Shane!

Inside Scoop On Fiber And How Not To Be Fooled By Food Labels | Shaping Concepts Fitness Blog

It's freezing!

New Zealand is in the middle of a cold snap and if you've ever been here you'll know that we're not really set up for cold weather. Not central heating. No double glazing. Just flimsy, draughty wooden houses! Never mind. I've been keeping up the walking as much as hailstorms allow. Fitness stats for this week:

Week 1: 1,247 calories in 215 minutes
Week 2: 3,746 calories in 675 minutes
Week 3: 1,575 calories in 235 minutes (um...yea...not so great!)

Hold the phone - lost another kilo! Needless to stay I'm amped and this just proves that tracking works :).

Shifting focus and weight!

I said last week that I was shifting focus to exercise and it seems to have paid off. A whole 1 kg (2.2 pound) loss this week. I feel like the Biggest Loser - awesome.

Fitness stats:
Week 1: 1,247 calories in 215 minutes
Week 2: 3,746 calories in 675 minutes (blow it out of the water baby!)

I also made a wee breakthrough on the food addiction side of things. D has been in control of my cash for some time now as I know I can't be trusted to not buy crap food. I 'needed' the credit card to buy veges and I thought I was going to get a massage on Saturday so begged it off D while he was at work. However my internal dialog started before I even got in the car. Just get a small packet of chippies. Just a small peanut slab. Just one bagel instead of a bag...

I ended up not going at all. I knew I'd blow my plan and be even more angry with myself than usual. And I'm so glad I did - a whole kg loss is SO worth it! Have a great week everyone :)

Moving focus

What my current walking shoes
would have looked like when new!

Lost 400g this week after a full week of tracking for the first time in (ahem) ages and a bit of exercise despite the thunder, lightning and hailstorm(s). It's this thing called exercise that I'm now focusing on. I know all the foods and what fills me up, what doesn't etc so I need to focus on the movement side of things.

My tracker says I've burnt 1,247 calories in 215 minutes over the past 7 days. That's averaging bang on 30 minutes a day. And about half what I should be doing. So my goal for the next month is to increase those minutes to 400 per week by mid August.

Have been catching up on some other bloggers and am jealous as hell of the North American summer. :) Yay for those of you that are out there swimming - have an awesome time!

2 losses in 1 week

Lost just over a pound this week. More importantly I lost my best friend of 19 years, my darling cat Rooney. He's been with me through (excuse the pun) thick and thin, boyfriends, husbands and partners. He's moved house 8 times and maintained his super cool composure the whole time. A great rat catcher but more lover than fighter. Would befriend all the neighbourhood cats rather than defend his territory. He will be sadly missed. Nothing like going through old photos and catching glimpses of yourself at your fattest to strengthen your resolve though so thank you Rooney, I'll keep going this week for you xxx.

No more flashing B A T T

I've had a week of yummy (read: rich) conference food, a weekend of Easter bunnies and ok lets face it - 2 months of general binging. The battery in my scales went flat which was a great excuse to take my eye off the ball.I  know it's bad because it's got to the point where suggesting a healthy dinner or saying no to junk food generates a 'poor me' face from D. Just when he was getting good at being my moral food compass.

Never mind - onwards and upwards downwards. Day 4 of tracking (I need it!). Weigh in this morning on the freshly charged scales revealed 88.8kg. My pre Christmas weight and a lucky number in some countries. A gain of 2kg (5lbs) since my last weigh in. It could have been a lot worse. The aforementioned conference was in Sydney - I bought a pair of jeans there that I don't fit so that's the current motivation. I can do it!

Moaning manky me

Stop reading now. I'm warning you - there's moaning afoot. Fuck. And bad language. Double fuck. I haven't weighed myself in over a week. I haven't tracked properly for longer than that. But I have managed to get my fat arse off the couch to go to the supermarket and buy shit food. Potato chips, dip, easter eggs and peanut slabs*. Fuck fuck fuck. Why is it that I can reach out and pick something off a shelf while fighting back tears with the thought of eating it? Damn self service checkouts allowing anonymous binging. I don't think I'd be able to face a checkout operator. I can't even face myself.

I'm home alone again this weekend and then D is picking his daughter up on his way home tomorrow night for a week of the school holidays. I don't want to be here. I want to take my sleeping bag to work and curl up under my desk so I don't have to deal with a grumpy pre teen and paste a smile on my face pretending everything is AOK. Reason 15 why I don't want my own children. I'm fucking selfish: It's my party, I'll cry if I want to.

* I blame my father. He refused to let me have a bite of his when I was child and then made me 'traffic' huge boxes of them to Australia when I visited him as a teenager and still refused me any. And called me 'Tubs'. Yes I have issues.

The day I skipped back to school

It's raining but it's still awfully hot. I'm not sleeping that well and D reminded me how much better I sleep when I've been for a walk. It's not cool enough for my winter jacket so I chuffed off to find a light shower proof little number today...cheap!

I turned off the escalator in department store number 1 and tada - there's some directly in front of me. Great (not even in the fat peoples section). Check the price - $29 (and I have a $20 voucher). Awesome. Try on the largest size (18). Fits well. Does up around the hips and allows for arms to flap. I hear D's voice in my head "remember you're losing weight - try a size smaller" (he is so awesome). Find the 16 and slide it on. Arms still fit well and it seems to join...try the zip...yep it does up the whole way! I hear my evil side "go on - see how much more you need to lose to fit the 14 (around a US 10)". So I try it on. The arms are still fine. There's no way that zip will do up. Holy shit it does. Must be mis labeled. Try another. It still fits! I practically skip to the checkout. i don't remember the last time I bought a size 14...my high school uniform was a 16. Happy is an understatement!!!

NSV and therapy in one

One of the reasons I started this weight loss journey was that I wanted to be able to buy clothes in a ‘normal’ store. I was sick of having to head to the fat section and have only shapeless, poncho-like items to choose from. (New Zealand has a pretty tiny selection of plus size clothing in the affordable price range).

It was so hot here in January that I started looking at second hand skirts online. I rarely wear skirts (have always been self conscious of my thick stumpy legs) so this in itself was a reflection of increased self esteem compared to a year ago. And then I actually bought one. And another. And another. Talk about retail therapy! They were all around $10 and labels from ‘normal’ stores.  I of course downplayed the chances of me either fitting them right away or them looking any good but you know what? They all look great. I have even been described as ‘sexy’ by a female co-worker while wearing one of them. Strike me down with a feather, that’s something worth posting about!

End of birthday month – start of kick arse March

It was about this time last year that I stopped posting, stopping tracking, stopped properly caring about me (until June). I put 10 pounds back on and didn’t think twice about it. My birthday is in the first week of February and this used to be the beginning of a couple of binge weeks that extended into larger portion sizes overall. Not this year. Even though I haven’t posted (or tracked much if I’m honest) I have been checking in with the scales and not going nuts. I’ve come too far to let the weight come back now. I had a big clear out of my wardrobe last week and donated all my fat clothes to charity – I can’t put weight back on cause I’d have nothing to wear to work and no one needs to see me walk the halls naked!

I’m aiming to loose another 3kg by Easter Friday (8 weeks). I’m trying to set realistic, achievable goals and then maintain that weight. Activity wise, I’ve been slack with the cardio but busting out the muscles by moving rocks in the garden and shovelling dirt until the cows come home. I’m signed up to do the annual Round the Bays in 2 weeks time – a good kick start to walking regularly again.

Courtesy www.tvnz.co.nz

Lastly, New Zealand is mourning after last weeks Christchurch earthquake. My friends all made it out safely but there are many families missing loved ones. It’s an emotional time. There are some fantastic stories of kindness and neighbour helping neighbour, I’m so proud to be a New Zealander. Kia kaha.

Joining the queue of folk in funks

I have only just caught up on blog posts and it seems that many of us having a bad week. We have had the 9yo this week and I honestly have no idea how you parents do it full time. I feel like I’ve had about 10 minutes to myself all week and that was probably when she was riding her bike ahead of us while out for a walk. Does that count? Sheeba.

Anyway, as far as food goes, breakfast and dinners were pretty good but lunches went out the window. There were never any leftovers and I seemed to be at the bottom of the pecking order when it came to fruit so I had to buy from the café at work a few times. Yesterday I came down with a migraine that D relieved with an awesome neck rub (thank you!) and not having it today has made me feel 150% better all around. Tracking again and have lots of activity planned for the weekend despite a cyclone scheduled to arrive this afternoon.

Meet the in-laws!

D and I are off to his brothers wedding this weekend. It’s being held 6 hours away and all I can think about is when I need to ‘stop’ drinking water so that I’m not peeing on the side of the road every 20 minutes. And that of course leads to a bit of anxiety about Monday’s weigh in where I know that I won’t have got my water intake for 2 days and probably will have over indulged at the wedding on Saturday night (yea yea I know – set myself up for success, plan to make good choices, it’s Ok to say no – that’s definitely my starting position!).

Anyway, this weekend is a big milestone in another way – I’m going to meet my in-laws for the first time! D doesn’t speak to them (long story) so I’ve never met them. Of course I will be polite and if I’m honest – I’m a little excited! Promise I won’t turn to the wine if things turn hostile :).

1.5 NSVs!

The awesome Lee Trousers!

When we were on holiday back in October, I took a gamble and bought some trousers that were ridiculously tight on the basis that the patterned material on the inside of the waistband was ‘pretty’ and they were the right length. I have little stumpy legs and normally have to get all my trousers shortened so I considered these a great find and they were on sale for USD$16. Wohoo!

It was a bit cooler today so I thought I’d try them on ‘just in case’. And they not only fit (that’s the main NSV) but I actually had to add a belt and then realised I’ve run out of holes in my normal ‘work’ belt. Sheeba. Looks like the 8 pounds I lost since getting back from hols came from the lower half for a change!

Finally…Biggest Loser season 8

Summer school holidays are in full swing down under which means the normal TV schedule gets ditched. YAY! Because it means that Biggest Loser (Season 8) is playing every day at 5pm. Yep that recorder is set and D and I are addicted. I know we’re a bit behind in terms of seasons but it’s been ages since BL has made it to prime time here so I’ll take it!

Aside from that – I’m back at work and glad to be here. The routine helps me keep my meals in check and also encourages me to down water like it’s going out of fashion. I can honestly say that I haven't had a big Christmas break food wise for the first year in 'forever'. Can’t wait for Monday’s weigh in :).

Get lost

Happy to say I'm back to my 10% off point - lost the 1.3 pounds I gained in Christmas week. How did I do it? I got lost. Yep, was killing time by going for a bush walk on Friday which was only meant to be a short loop track and ended up having to call D for directions and ultimately rescue. I was gone for 5.5 hours - 18km in the end. Ouch. My toes hurt! Learnt the very valuable lession about having a proper map for walks in areas I'm not familiar with. What an idiot.

Anyhoo - back to internet access and tracking my food. Also lifted my first crop of potatoes from the vege garden yesterday. We're now eating courgettes, peas, beetroot and strawberries out of our little garden. Loving it!