Closure

Warning: Bad language forthcoming...

On 5th November last year I discovered that D was cheating on me. Well, seeing multiple women inappropriately shall we say. He was lying about his work situation, spending money he didn’t have (aka ‘ in the shit’ financially), letting me pay for everything, feeling crap about it and convinced that I was going to kick him out when I found out. Liar, liar, pants on fire.

So long story short, I kicked him in the nuts, broke a whole lot of his stuff, moved out for a while and then started to talk to him again through a counsellor. I agreed on the basis that he had been my best friend and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to lose that.

Counselling has been great, harrowing, uplifting and stomach crampingly painful. It turns out he had a completely fucked up perspective of women. There was so much he hadn't shared - from swinging grandmothers to cheating aunties. He saw all of them in me despite me never giving him any reason to. He never really gave us a chance.

So we’re trying again and, from my perspective, happy. But I look at this blog (or holiday photos for that matter) and it makes me wonder what he was doing or even thinking while I was living my life. Cos it sure as shit wasn’t what I thought it was. And then I start doubting what we have now and that’s not healthy. Hence I don’t think I’ll ever come back here but I’m also not ready to delete her. I’ve started tweeting again – maybe we’ll see each other there.

Thanks heaps for all your support over the years! xx

Slowly but surely

D is out mountain biking with a friend and I had a shit day at work so I came home and had a glass of wine. I was about to pour another when I absent-mindedly clicked on a few of your blogs and reflected on how my day had gone aside from work.

1. Today was the first day that I've been able to walk down stairs (up has been fine) since my awesome sports injury. 
2. I managed to say no to free chocolate biscuits that my manager was handing out at a workshop this morning. 
3. My belt has just reached the last usable notch so I'm going to have a stab a hole in it and cut some off the end. 

Those are 3 super positive things in my world. Not to mention the Biggest Loser season finale (season 11?) is on tonight. What would Bob say? He'd tell me to get off my arse and get moving. So I did. A very slow 44 minutes, some limping, some not. But I did it and now I feel great! Off to read more of your blogs - thank you!